A Time to Vent

There's a time to every season. And right now I need to vent. Well, more like implore, beseech, pray, beg, plead, and encourage this generation to get a grip. I know. We could be here awhile if I fully addressed this issue. But there is one particular subject I must vent about the most in this post.

If you know me, you will know how passionate I am about wholesome entertainment. Moreover you know how picky I am and how serious I take it. I can pinpoint good quality productions from a mile away. And I bet you'd never guess all the ones I'd choose. That aside, I need to address a different area that I may not speak of often but is one of my biggest pet peeves. But moreover, I believe that it is an issue in the body of Christ not just my own personal preference. And that issue is the music of today. I know what you're thinking. "Yeah I know. Kids listen to way too much secular music. I agree. They should be listening to Christian music more." And while this argument is one hundred percent true, my angst is with Christian music not secular music. Yep, I said it. You see, the secular world is going to always be nuts and make filth. But last time I checked, Christians are supposed to be Christlike and show the difference in everything they produce. As a musician, you have a tremendous power to form a generation's stereotypes and make the mark of that time. And I say with sadness that Christians have come close to missing the mark here.

One of my biggest concerns is worship music. Today's modern worship fad puts a bad taste in my mouth. I don't like it, and I'm not afraid to say it. The wave of popularity that is modern worship music could ultimately be described as a dumbing down of intelligence and a moving away from the true connection with God's spirit. It is not right. I have to guard myself from getting bothered physically due to its distracting sound every time I hear one of these modern worship songs. And if I hear that same chord progression for the 458th time in a row for the next five minutes, I'm gonna throw something. And please stop rocking back and forth and back and forth saying, "We need your fire, Lord." with that same four-chord rhythm in the background. Nothing wrong with what you're saying, but...Ugh. There's just something about this music that gets my goat. I won't name specific names for courtesy's sake. And please just sing...Quit using your voice in a low, drawn-out tone like you're trying to pull something down from heaven. And every song on a CD shouldn't be a repetition and reinvention of the chord progression in the last eight songs with its simple, repetitive lyrics and lack of depth. Now, don't get me wrong. The messages in the songs are wonderful. Nothing about them is false in doctrine, so to speak. Yet my recent journey into the past by way of artists that paved the way such as Kathy Troccoli, Amy Grant, Rich Mullins, and others, makes me want to cry. There is little in our modern worship that looks to them with thanks for paving the way. In some ways I feel we have limited ourselves in the way we write music. Why are we swaying away from what has worked in the past? We've lost that true artistic touch that is truly connecting with the spirit of God and letting Him create a distinct masterpiece in each of our songs. I don't know. I have a feeling that most of you won't even understand me. Anyways....

Just the other day I had put on my wireless headphones, connected up with my phone and put Kathy Troccoli's discography on Spotify shuffle and started grooving around the house. And then one of my favorite worship songs of her's from the 80s/90s came on. I had to stop. Because the song stopped me. I couldn't help the smile that eased onto my face as I closed my eyes, lifted my hands, danced a little, and worshiped my Jesus. There's no feeling quite like a song that truly came from the spirit of God and was planted among us. And you could tell it had been written with such care and simple complexity that put deep joy in my heart and brought me straight before the throne of God.

Please...Don't forget the past as you create for the future! Don't water the sound down to please a modern audience. I know times change. But we don't have to change with them and conform to them. There's nothing about last century's Christian music/worship style that is outdated. Who knows...Perhaps it's time we returned to our roots and figure out what made their music great in years past. I know I've discovered it. And I pray you all do too. And you don't have to go very far back to discover it.

Here's a small taste of the past...I pray the anointing and sound of this comes back to our present and our future. Listen...and hear the difference. Moreover, know the difference.  "...and they rest not day and night, saying, Holy, holy, holy, Lord God Almighty, which was, and is, and is to come." - Revelation 4:8

A True Calling

It's at crossroads that we often have to take a moment and reevaluate our destiny sometimes. A crossroads can often come at the end of one season and gives you an ultimatum that propels you to the next season. And as I feel as if that has come to me, I have taken a step back to reevaluate what I truly want in life. Now, what I want doesn't always line up with what God's path for me is. And it is ultimately up to us to completely surrender our futures to him. But in a moment of contemplation, I asked myself if I would truly be satisfied and happy if my whole life consisted of a career in writing Christian fiction. I cringed slightly. I have always had many dreams and likings, but it wasn't until now that I really came to terms with the fact that I may be on a slightly crooked path. It was then that the Lord revealed to me something profound.

As Christians, we often and rightly so think in terms of what God's calling is on each of our lives. What is God's path for you? What job would he have you to take? What job is your calling? What career is God's will for your life? What talent does God want to use to bless the earth? And while these are all perfectly good questions and should be asked no less, there lies a deeper understanding to be found out. If you are a pastor, your calling is not to be a pastor. If you are a singer, your calling is not to be a singer. If you are a writer, God's calling is not for you to be a writer. And while I know you are shocked, hear me out.

Each individual has a purpose and a passion placed deep inside their hearts that God placed there before the foundations of the earth were even formed. He predestined a certain desire in each person's heart that when it is mentioned, they are filled with joy and satisfaction and in it they find meaning in their life. This thing is not on the outside in the form of a job, career, or ministry. It is on the inside and is fashioned as something only that person will feel and know. For example, a young girl may as she grows up have a tender heart towards the hurting and broken. When she sees a starving animal or a homeless person, she is saddened. Her heart softens and she is broken at the mere sight. In this heart-felt feeling can be found that girl's calling. Her calling can be found in the fact that she cares for the broken. In that is found her destiny. As she grows into adulthood, she may have an attraction to nursing. She may pursue this field. And in it she finds satisfaction because she is fulfilling the desire to restore the broken to wholeness. But nursing is not her calling. Healing the broken is her calling. Nursing is only the avenue by which God chose to lead her in order to fulfill her purpose. Another girl may feel the same way as she grows up. Tears well in her eyes every time she sees the less fortunate on the streets. Yet as she becomes an adult, she is moved to start a center in the inner city to help the less fortunate. Two girls. Similar callings. Completely different avenues by which God chose to bring out that calling into the earth to bless his children.

And in this have I been contemplating. What is truly my calling? I usually respond with a quick, "To be a writer of course." Now, I will always be a writer. It's in my DNA. But what is truly my calling? What is it that burns in my heart that I wish I could change for the better in the earth? Not what career or talent do I feel most compelled to pursue. But...What is it in my heart that God wants to use to help his children on the earth? Once I answer these questions, then it is up to me to listen to God's leading as he helps me to discover what career, talent, or job is the avenue by which that purpose is to be brought to fruition in the earth. As of recently, I have assumed writing to be the avenue by which I can accomplish the purpose God has put on the inside of me. But is it? And it is a daily discovery to truly follow the Holy Spirit's leading instead of just assuming.

Throughout life the avenue or conduit may change. But the purpose God has placed on your life never changes. If you feel compelled to preserve history, one day you may have a job at a museum. Then within five years you could be a historical adviser on a movie set. Your jobs may have changed, but if you have truly discovered what God's purpose is on your life, then that purpose will never change. Your life calling is not to work at a museum. Nor is your life calling to be a historical adviser. But your life calling is to preserve history, for this example. Once you find your true purpose and surrender your life to God, things may just become a bit clearer along the way. Life shouldn't be a smorgasbord of activities to keep you busy until you retire or go to heaven. It should be a fulfilling journey of accomplishing that one purpose no matter what job or jobs you have or where you go in life. God has placed something unique in every person. Don't defraud yourself the chance at discovering it. And allow God to show just how on earth he would have you to fulfill that passion inside your heart. And believe me....It's worth it all.

I Know What It's Like

When I was a very small child, my parents decided that they were tired of being pew-sitters in church. Moreover, they felt there had to be more to this Christian faith besides going through the motions and being just average church goers. It was then that my mom and dad decided to go to a different church whose beliefs took Christianity to a more proactive level and was truly aiming for something that would benefit their lives and allow growth in their faith. What followed could be described as inconceivable. Grandparents accused my mom and dad of taking me to a cult church. This was and still is a lie. People within the church saw my mom and dad as weird, too picky, and small-minded when they insisted they didn't want worldly content going into my eyes in children's church. People and family who would have thought would become close confidants suddenly became arch-enemies. Why? Because of the desire to seek after God and his righteousness.

When I started homeschooling, another host of accusations ensued especially when my mom chose to invest in my well-being as her daughter and put me first instead of giving in to family members' wants who insisted that she and my dad were brainwashing me and not letting me experience what the real world is like. And mean comments were made that surely edge the territory of slander. You know, it's funny. It seems that they began to be the very kind of person that they falsely accused my parents of becoming. Anyways....

Fast forward a decade as I began to reach an age of deciding for myself in certain areas. Yes, I have a mind and a will. And my parents have always let me have a say while leading me to one and only way through Christ Jesus. That aside, I began to realize the principle that faith without works is dead (James 2:14-26). Therefore, although Jesus died and cleansed us from all unrighteousness, we have to do things on our part as Christians to crucify the flesh daily as he leads us by his Spirit day by day. Among these things include taking responsibility for our day to day actions by realizing in what ways we compromise God's ordinances. Perhaps one should choose better entertainment options that are cleaner and more wholesome, raise modesty standards, or commit to purity as single individual. Now, if God's Spirit doesn't dwell on the inside of you, none of this will make any sense whatsoever. All in all, it is about doing your part with God's grace (God-given ability) on the inside of you to see that Jesus' name is glorified by your actions and choices in life and not degraded by your compromise with worldly standards. 

In saying all this...my mom and dad wanted this to be my foundation in life. Yet numerous people from family to friends insisted that they "took that God thing too seriously." Really? Choosing to honor the one who died to give me eternal life by raising my standards in life is taking my Christianity too seriously?? 

This brings me to my main point...I know a little bit about what it feels like to be in the Duggar family's shoes right now. No, I've not met the family yet, and I don't know every little detail about their lives. But I do know what it feels like to make a decision to take your relationship with Christ and your standards seriously only to receive hate in return because you are just trying to do the right thing in accordance with God's precious word. Has anyone stopped to think that the reason the Duggars have such wonderful standards of purity is because after 2002 they realized that we as Christians have to step up to the plate and be proactive in the decisions we make so that mistakes aren't made again? God's grace is abundant and came at a price. And I admire the Duggars for taking that sacrifice seriously and not just with words but with actions.

Think before you speak. Because you have no idea what sort of negative impact your words might make upon the people that hear them. Words can hurt. Don't be the one that initiates that hurt.

Friendship and God's Timetable

If you would have told me two years ago that in 2015 I'd have a friend close to my age who would share most of my ideals and cherish her relationship with God as I do while so deeply being enraptured by the world of my dearest Avonlea, I may have called you nuts. But it happened. And nearly one year later, I am so thankful for Haylee having come into my life. Although we've never met in person, we have a connection. While I can give part of the credit to Avonlea for helping our paths to cross, I must give the full credit to God first and foremost. It is just so amazing to think that God knew about us long before 2014 ever came along and knew we would connect. It is so crazy to think about! I remember a time in my life that I was somewhat lonely. My attitude was quite unwarranted. I am ashamed of it now. But God heard me nonetheless.

Looking back on it, God was right on time. It's funny to think that most of the time we think we know better than God when it comes to timing. (laughs) That is ridiculous. I still struggle in this area. I sometimes have doubts of whether or not God is paying attention to helping me reach my purpose in life. But once I wipe the tears and sit up straight, it dawns on me that trust in God is the only way to reach any place in life. Although your trust may waver sometimes, in your heart you know the answer is to lean on the Lord without one doubt.

I remember a scene in my beloved Road to Avonlea where Olivia is quite downtrodden about not having had a need for baby clothes in a while and brings them to the mission box out of disappointment. In speaking with Janet, she is uplifted by Janet's words which are of the old wives' tale that as soon as you throw something out, you are sure to need it again. This causes Olivia to heroically let go of the baby things. Now, I don't believe this is as much of a wives' tale as it is an action of faith. Letting go of something and moving on with life. There is something about completely letting go that takes away every ounce of fear and concern. Before long, you hardly remember ever worrying about that thing in the first place! Now I know we all will have the tendency to think upon that desired thing every once in awhile. But the nagging concern and anguish we feel seems to lift when you simply shift your focus...first onto God...then onto being faithful in the little things. And before long, God fulfills that desire in your life the way he had always planned to. And his plan is always a perfect one.

I have experienced this many times thus far in my life. And I know there will be many more times I will have to do it. But it is simply a part of walking by faith and not by sight. It helped to lead me to a wonderful friendship that I will cherish always. And it will lead me onward as I discover and step into that grand purpose that God has put upon my life.

A Change of Heart

(an elongated sigh)

Why? Why has this happened to me? The heart and soul is so intricate! My, how quick God can work on the heart when you're not looking!

To explain, if you know anything about me, you know I have up to now been absorbed and totally taken over by historic periods. So much so that perhaps part of me has loathed the idea of modern life and wished I could return to yesteryear and forget 2015 exists. I've had a distinctive change of heart. Not drastic. But distinctive. I'm so glad I live in 2015. It's slightly hard to explain. But in general, I think God's got big things in store for me. And changing my likes and point of view is preparing me to step into his call on my life.

In my writing, I swore a few years ago to only write historically-set stories. Yet my current work-in-progress is modern-set and is on my heart so very strong. I felt like a hypocrite at first. Like I was being someone whom I was not. After all, God has called me in part to preserve history. Why in the heck am I writing a modern day story?!? Then it hit me, "Why wouldn't I?" Perhaps my goal can be accomplished both ways. Perhaps it must be accomplished both ways.

In life in general, I could not be more grateful that I was born in the 20th century. (I know...You are probably thinking, "Duh.") As hard as it is for me to admit this, I must. For it is only when I admit my contentedness and gratefulness that God can launch me into the awesomeness that is his call on my life.

History and time gone by is still important to me. This will never change. But perhaps I must accept modern life to embrace the future ahead. Slowly but surely, I am finding who I am in Christ. It is not average or ordinary. But my life story will be written and set in the 21st century. I should embrace this and not fight it. After all, wouldn't it be a bit weird if a character in a story was constantly acting as if they were in 21st century USA when the story is set in Regency England??

When I was born, figuratively God picked up the pen and set it upon an empty book filled with fresh, blank pages. At the top he wrote my name and date of birth and set forth penning my journey of life. And although the road ahead is yet to be seen, one thing I am certain of....The setting has and will always be in the 21st century. I must submit my ways and embrace the life before me. It is incredible. Why should I ever deny myself the joys that the Lord has set before me? I can't, and I won't. For the future is very bright! I shall hold to the values of the past while embracing the future before me.